So let's talk about it!! Let's talk about the first time the color of your skin was brought to your attention. The first time you felt either too light or too dark. That moment you were made to feel different than family members or friends. Now ask yourself this, "Who brought this to my attention? ". Nine times out of ten it was someone who's black that pointed this out.
Majority of black households brings the difference of skin color to the sureface before a white person ever does . Black mother's and father's don't realize how they separate their children by color. They don't realize how they can make their child feel insignificant to their siblings, because one is a different complexion than the other. This ignorance can be very damaging. Most do it thinking it's a term of endearment. Calling one child "My Chocolate Baby" and the other "My Pretty Red Baby" . I even know men who still go by their childhood nickname "Black Boy" to this day. Some think that by calling their darker daughters and son's "Chocolate" will give them a boost of self esteem. It will make them appreciate their skin tone as they grow up. Wanna know why this is the mindset of these parents? Because they already know society will damage them for being a darker complexion. They know the negativity they will face being darker skin. So I asked myself , why separate them by color in your home if you already know society will do the same thing. Calling them your "Chocolate Baby", then they meet the world that will make this very thing seem like a curse. They will start to think well I was the "Chocolate one" that society looks over, thinks is less beautiful, and my sister was the "Pretty Red One" and all images of the "Pretty Red " women are praised. So now do you see what you have done?? You destroyed your child before any white person could. I have been in hospitals with people and as soon as the baby pops out they are checking ears to see how light or dark the baby will be. Comments like he or she "So white " are thrown around the room. I set there like "What are you doing??" . With black people like this, who needs white people.
I grew up with a mother of a lighter complexion than I was. Before she had my sister I was the only child for seven years. My aunts were lighter than me, and my uncles. But I never noticed this, because my family never made comments like "redbone", "yellowbone" . My mother had my sister, and my sister came out a lighter complexion than I was but, I never knew that, because to me she was just a black baby, because our mother is black, and our father is black. I was just a black girl and my family was black, until the day my mother came to my class with my baby sister . I remember her walking in, and I'm excited because my mommy is here, and everyone gets to see my baby sister. Everyone in the class was like "Oooo somebody mama here" and "Oooo that's a pretty baby. I was like "That's my mama" the kids went puzzled . They were intrigued and I didn't understand why. They asked with excited disbelief "Tureka dat's yo mama foe real." , and I'm answering excitedly confused "Yeaaa that's my mama". They went crazy over my sister. I didn't understand why they wouldn't believe this was my mother. This happened throughout my school years when my mother would come up to the school. When my father would come there was no questions, no excitement. I learned that I was too dark, to be my mother's daughter. I had never thought about it, never seen it with my eyes until someone else made me see it. Those kids , and the world, woke me up to something my mother nor my family ever made a subject. I was darker than them. All I had ever heard was I was pretty. I now know those kids came from families where skin color was talked about, labeled and separated. My mother and father have four kids, and they never called us by color. I am the darkest of my sisters and they never called me their "Chocolate Baby" . My brother is the darkest of all their kids and he was never "Black Boy" . To go even further I was always fat and my mother never called me her "Fat Baby". I love my mother and my family for being who they are and never being color struck. It saved me from a lot of pain. I just knew I was pretty, and that's all they wanted me to know. Never told me I was "A pretty dark skin girl". Those kids where speaking foreign to me that day, but I learned the language fast.
Be mindful of your own prejudice. Be mindful of what you are doing to your little girl or little boy. Just let them be your "Baby". Just let them be "Big Sis/Lil Sis" or "Big Bro/Lil Bro" that's the only thing that should separate them. Being a lighter or darker complexion, being bigger or smaller, should not be something brought to their attention in your home. Don't be your own enemy and worst critic. Just let them be black.
Thank you Lisa!!!💖💞💖💞💖
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